so you want to live in a vault
by soundwave145
Summary: a guild to your new life in a vault
1. Chapter 1

THE VAULT DWELLERS GUILD TO LIF IN THE WASTELAND!

BY VAULT

Hello my friend if you are reading this congratulations! You and your family (if you have one),Has been chosen to reside in the safety that is an official vault tech VAULT! In these wonders of technology you will remain safe as a cucumber if by chance a nuclear apocalypse should become reality. In this volume you will learn about the hazards and the proper precautions of live in a post apocalyptic setting ,thus insuring your survival! {Results my vary }

Chapter one: wow that was a loud boom!

Golly Mr. And or Mrs. vault dweller to be did you hear that! A loud thunderous sound was it a car crash?…wrong!….was it a jet flying to low? Wrong again! Was it the sound of a whale and a bowel of petunias crashing in front of your house! NO! that loud noise my friend is an. ATOMIC BLAST!-vault boy runs around in a circle panicking with a mushroom cloud in the background. Hold on to your horses there my friend do you really think that panicking is going to save you from the red menace?-vault boy nods-no it wont if you hear sirens or nuclear bombs exploding you need to. Find your vault! As soon to be survivor of the apocalypse you need to always know where and when your vault is. Remember my friend knowing is only half the battle-vault boy nods-plan a route that will take you to your vault the quickest remember to survive nuclear bombardment you need to be on your toes. Wait what are you doing?-vault boy is caring a TV and trying to run to his car- your wasting time with all those unneeded house hold items let me tell you a little about your vault-fades into vault -in your stay in your vault you will be in the lap of luxury as the world is fried around you-vault boy sits in a plush chair-but remember this vault dweller while living in the vault you must accomplish your daily vault duty's such as cleaning the floor or repairing damaged recruitment even making sure your fusion reactor is maintained at a cool 2000 degrees. But don't fret my friend you'll have lots of other people to help you !in your time here in an official vault your fellow vault dwellers will be like your second family even the ugly ones!-camera aims at a lovely young lady..-narrator clearing throat -even the ugly ones! -zooms into ugly person-so make sure you get acquainted with everyone-all the vault dwellers form a circle laying down on the ground holding hands- after all your going to be living your life no. your better life underground!. Static…please flip holotape to side b for continuing information

This has been an official un official vault tech recording please burn tape after end of recording


	2. Chapter 2

Static …loading official vault welcome…vault now sealed status Green, welcome to your vault !

Chapter 2:the ways of vault life

Well hello again Mr. Vault dweller hmm I see your nice and safe in your vault tech vault-vault boy nod but has a frown on-what's wrong?-the sound of huge explosions and gun fire can be heard-oh your sad because all those other people are dieing aren't you-he nods-Well don't be! They chose to try and live out the harshness of living in a apocalyptic world, you should be happy after all if you look sad the other vault dwellers will be sad! Remember a positive attitude will go far whether living in a vault or in the out side world.

-vault boy stares at a high tech vault computer- oh your wondering what all of this wiz bang stuff is aren't you? Well let me explain for a vault to function properly you need three very important things!

yes this every day necessity is at a premium for the vault. but don't worry Mr. Vault dweller the combined powers of vault tech and have successfully created a food symphonizer from pie to ribs and even lobster you and your vault compdreas will have more than enough food to go around {lobster sold secretly}.

:indeed that waters of life the very thing you are made of-vault boy hold out a glass of clean water-but due to NUCLEAR RADIATION-the water in the glass glows and vault boy drinks it-the water can become a major hazard and can mutate and kill you-vault boy with two head lays on the ground holding a white flower. But worry not survivor of the apocalypse advance science and technology proudly presents the water chip! This marvel of technology analyzes, massages and purifies ground water caused by the bombs going off and turns it into drinking water!

And finally but not least number 3:entertainment yes entertainment remember the outside world was once your oyster but now. it's a heap of nuclear radiation and death! But thankfully your vault has been stoked with the finest holotape money can buy from music to movies even some entertainment for adults-vaults boys eyes change like a slot machine to triple xxx indeed Mr. Vault dweller now that you know the ins and outs do you still feel sad about the less fortunate?-vault boy is about to nod his head but looks toward other vault dwellers- well do you?-he smiles and shakes his head and the rest of the vault dwellers clap-now that's putting your mind in the right place now you and the vault is happy and ready for what ever the wasteland has to offer! Static…thank you for listening please leave any comments and complaints in the complaint box as you exit the atrium to your dormitory's

Maintenance log:

Yeah have you guys seen any of the extra water chips? I've looked and all I see down here are a couple of gecks…oh well I heard water chips can last up to 200 or so years so I guess its not our problem.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: baddies!

*remember when in doubt. Get a bigger gun*

Well hello their Mr. Vault dweller so today's the big day ?-vault boy nods- that's right today is the day that you and your fellow vault dwellers venture from the vault to restart the great American way of life-vault door opens and everyone gets attacked by radscorpions mutants and some ghoul dressed up as mummy-whoa their lets try that again-tape rewinds-Mr. Vault dweller you can possibly hope to survive out their with out proper knowledge of what's out there. But don't fret our vault tech scientist have made an accurate prediction of what you might have to deal with out their and how to take care of the problem peacefully.

First lets talk about weapons safety! Yeah as you may know your vault is equipped with an official vault tech armory -door opens and vault boy stares in awe- yes its all here for peaceful living in the wastes from pistols to machine guns even a hearty helping of grenades! So now that you are equipped to deal with the outside world-vault boy arms shotgun - lets talk about what you might face in the post apocalyptic world

First off in our list of post apocalyptic trouble makes is the mole rat! From what our scientist guess because the amount of radiation will be sp high that you everyday rat will mutate into a creature about the size of a large coffee table-mole rat falls out of no where and crashes onto coffee table-what are you going to do about it Mr. Vault?-vault boy thinks and snaps his fingers, he shoots at it but misses-well that didn't work out well did it-he frowns-but not to worry you have V.A.T.S that's right vats the vault tech assisted targeting system! With V.A.T.S your victory and this creatures demises is as easy as one, two and last but not lest three-vault boy pulls trigger in slow motion and then the mole rats head explodes-there now you got it Mr. Vault dweller! Wait. Did you hear that-scorpions noise here--radscorpions impales unfortunate vault dweller. Holy shi….I mean golly that creature in front of you Mr. Vault is what we call a RADSCORPION!

This big thing is the mutated form of the everyday, good old fashion scorpion only bigger and more hazardous to your health show us what you have learned today Mr. Vault -he nods and shoots the red scorpion in the fashion of bloody mess- wow Mr. Vault your one bad as..I mean tough cookie!…-cough- but it looks like you've had a casualty -zooms in to impaled vault dweller-vault boy looks sad-don't worry he will be fine at least after using a official vault approved stimpack! Yes indeed these little packs are filled with powerful good medicine witch will health almost and minor wound I would use two for our friend here-vault boy uses stimpack on bystander- well what did I tell you he's as right as rain .

Very well now lets move on to…to….to..zzzzt

Tape goes blank.

Great the tapes fried…oh well we will just have to skip to the next one…

Yeah I know sorry about the tape. But this technical stuff got boring and I'm sorry about the chapters being so short but think of it this way I have a short attention span so….never mind I want to go into something more interesting if you have an idea or topic for the guild just mail me or something and thanks for the good and bad reviews…..ztttt end of tape


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:I don't have an interesting title

Welcome to the out side world Mr. Vault -thumbs up- Ahh yes another glorious day in the post nuclear world of California!-guns go off everywhere and ghouls attack a radscorpion. believe it or not the world is a very dangers place for humans years of radiation changed the genetic structure of most animals-roar!! Oh no Mr. Vault did you hear that! Quick Mr. Vault look over there!-vault boy looks to see a bear like creature fighting a…mummy?. Get back you son of a Ahh!!!-well he was an unfortunate person but not to worry Mr. Vault just use your vault smarts! That creature is none other that a yao guai this is the great, great radiated grand child of the common black bear! Look out for those teeth Mr. Vault they are mighty powerful!-the bear bites vault boys arm, he then uses vats to shoot the bear. Good job Mr. Vault..oh you seem to have been injured not only that but you seem to also have been…RADIATED! -everyone runs around screaming- now everyone calm down all he needs is a few anti rad chems our scientist have done there best to make sure living in these hard times is safe for humans to live in and if that fails there are always drugs!-vault boy injects him self and gives a thumbs up- ok vault its time to meet the locals a group of three people run up to vault boy lets start with the positive!-kind person waves- this is an everyday person Mr. Vault forced to grow up and live in a post nuclear setting, notice the large amount of ammunition and weapons she cant possibly need them all!-she nods-a lot of people in to days world received goods in the form of trading ,stay on her good side and maybe shell give you a discount! Ok moving on….a man in power armor looks around lacking interest- this is a member of the brother hood of steel! These power armor hardened fighters are what's left of the us military, who knows Mr. Vault maybe one day you could be a mighty solider of the wastes and last but not least…the raiders you don't want to have anything to do with these blood thirsty villains,-one raider shoots a vault dweller-see what I mean Mr. Vault nothing but trouble and what do you do when there's trouble?-vault boy pulls out a mini gun-good job Mr. Vault remember claiming your territory is the first step to restoring America to a peaceful, joyful place!-camera pulls out to see every one shooting at each other, grenades, gun shots and maniacal laughing fill the air. End of this chapter

Yeah I know its short but I need to play fallout 2 again to get more creative juice…..so umm send any thing you want to see answered so your life in the post nuclear world can be improved!


End file.
